Mental Health and Work

Mental Health and Finding Work

For the past 5 months I have looked for work, with that I have struggled to find work. I’ve actually lost count at the amount of jobs I’ve applied for.

I’ve been to so many interviews in that time as well, I never ended up hearing back from half of them. Which I find really rude that they just don’t get back.

I did actually start a job but unfortunately it didn’t work out for me, the environment made me extremely uncomfortable and stressed. This lead me to leave the same day I started. Some jobs just aren’t great for mental health.

I then went for an interview/assessment day at my dream job, it was about 5 hours long. I got the job they offered me it and I signed the contract and everything. After a month of waiting to start, suddenly I was declined a job because of previous time off for mental health. I’m 99% sure this is discrimination but I have no idea how to go about it so I’m just letting them win this.

Since this has happened I’ve lost a lot of confidence to work, I feel like I will be continuously hit the same dead end. I feel I will experience this discrimination all over again. I was supposed to go for an interview at my previous job but they said that I had HR issues which I never, it really annoyed me but I guess it wasn’t meant to be.

I am really nervous about going for jobs again now, I have so much built up stress and anxiety. I’ve had interviews but some I’ve not managed to get myself to because I’ve just been way too anxious and worked myself up.

The fact I am 20 years old and feel like I’ve been forced into not being able to work again really upsets me. I can’t afford not to work I need a job. I literally have no clue what I am going to do anymore. I have started working with a vocational worker though so I’m hoping that will help me.

People with mental illnesses still have a life, they still need to feed themselves and pay bills. We are still human, we still have feelings and emotions. We deserve to work just as much as someone who hasn’t got a mental illness. Everyone has mental health and everyone has physical health. We all deserve equal opportunities and not to be judged on our past.

Thanks for reading.

Hannah x

De-stress Kit by Spiffy

De-stress Kit Review

Recently I purchased a de-stress kit from Spiffy, I was really interested in trying it as it was something I thought I’d benefit from hugely as I do tend to not let myself distress greatly. I came across Spiffy on Facebook at first I wasn’t too sure about paying for it as it is £24.99 and although you get 10% when you first sign up I was still a bit unsure whether it would be worth the money.

I was kindly gifted it by my mum to try as she knows I stress out about life very easily so she was a fabulous mum and decided to buy me it.

I believe it came 3 days after ordering 2nd class which I was pretty amazed about it arriving so quickly but I was so excited to open it up and see how great the products were!

The de-stress kit comes with; a mindfulness book (the little book of mindfulness), de-stress aromatherapy balm, calm aromatherapy dough by MohDoh, a tea bag by Positivitea, a bath melt by Wild Olive, a heated eye mask by spacemasks.com and a what am I worried about notepad by Spiffy.

<img alt="” border=”0″ data-original-height=”789″ data-original-width=”940″ height=”268″ src=”https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Ma8lh-19OpQ/W6BqAPjYWoI/AAAAAAAAAmQ/g6Z0VTXi7FUh9pxGLO_sQ-tQxWXgSlejACKgBGAs/s320/001&#8243; title=”destress kit” width=”320″ />

First impressions: I absolutely adored the box it came in, it was so cute and positive. Although I was a bit confused how to open it but I did! As you can see the box is very colourful and positive looking which is something I really loved. 

I was super excited about using these products so I first of used the balm which you just rub into your temples, wrists and neck. It smelled really relaxing and is great if you can just have a few seconds to close your eyes and take in the smell. It really helped me to relax.

I then decided to use the MohDoh after actually having a really bad trigger and feeling really de-stressed so perfect timing really! This is going to be one of my go to products from now on when feeling de-stressed, not only does it smell absolutely beautiful it also helped me to feel grounded and completely back around from feeling dissociated!                

I decided to have a relaxing evening Monday night and used the warming eye mask and the bath melt. The eye mask was lovely and didn’t really have a smell, it says on the packet it lasts up to 15 minutes however, mine lasted a lot longer and it was so nice on my eyes although at times did feel a bit drying but it really helped rejuvenate my eyes. The bath melt although it wasn’t massive it was a very powerful smell of lavender, which luckily I love the smell of. It really helped me relax and I actually went to sleep about an hour after my bath which is very unlike me, I normally spend all night awake.

I have also had a read of the little book of mindfulness but I am yet to practice any as it is something I struggle with but at the same time is something I want to get into! I read a small amount and it seemed really helpful and might even be beneficial when I go to work and on my break. I am also yet to use the tea bag but it smells lovely and I am sure that it will be very relaxing. The what am I worried about notepad is going to be some serious help to me, as someone who worries a lot and normally unnecessarily about things out of my control, I cannot wait to use it properly.

Overall I love the de-stress kit it’s really helped me to find some ways to help me take the edge of things. I definitely would recommend it and even if you aren’t sure there are loads and loads of things on Spiffy’s  website which are helpful for mental health, so I would really recommend checking them out! Also Spiffy have a free E-course – 7 Days to a Happier Life.

<img alt="” border=”0″ data-original-height=”789″ data-original-width=”940″ height=”268″ src=”https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-HnlR6GgHEpQ/W6BuHSf7aYI/AAAAAAAAAmc/kjX8C0eEQR8LUTbS2JFKtvf6BHDi2gQDwCKgBGAs/s320/001″ title=”items from distress kit” width=”320″ />

Hannah x

Managing Intense / Distressing Thoughts

Managing Thoughts

I’ve recently been trying to engage myself in ways to help manage my intense and distressing thoughts and feelings. I am going to be attending therapy eventually but the wait list is about 6 months and if you’re like me then that’s too long to wait whilst dealing with such thoughts and feelings.

So as I’ve said on Twitter I am going to write a post on how to cope / manage these thoughts and feelings. I’m still completely new to these techniques myself but I thought I just need to share these to hopefully help others with these feelings and thoughts.

I would definitely recommend getting a notepad or using a word document etc. As these are great methods to use and always come back to especially if you’re close to crisis point it might really help support you reading back over notes you’ve wrote when stable.

First of all, write your distressing thought down. Although some may be able to follow these steps in their head I however have found it easier to write down. Then write your feelings down, sometimes there may not be a thought or a feeling but start with the step that is needed during the time. You can also think of reoccurring thoughts and feelings you get and write them down if you would like to practice this method. Are there any solid facts that support your thoughts / feelings? Are there facts that support the opposite of your thoughts?

The method is to question your thoughts and feelings and personably my favourites question is this one; would the people around me agree with the facts that I see? The reason why this is my favourite question to the method is because a lot of my thoughts and feelings are very much things I’ve triggered myself into believing by looking for small signs that it might be true. This question will hopefully help my step back and think rationally about my thoughts.

That leads me to accepting thoughts and emotions. Although at times it can be hard especially if you’re a BPD like me it’s about acceptance, accepting that it’s okay to have those feelings and checking the facts about a situation as to wether your thought it true. Sometimes this can be really hard and I am not a therapist I’m not going to say yes it’ll work all the time because it probably won’t.  However it is about giving it a go and challenging these thoughts and feelings.

This is why self care is also so important, when you feel at crisis point try and take a step back. Use your 5 senses to relax, smell your favourite candle, go for a walk, call a friend and have a rant, take a bath.

This post uses methods from Debbie Corso and Kathryn C. Holt – Stronger Than BPD, DBT activities.

Hannah x

To Be Dissociated

Dissociation

Feeling dissociated is one of the worst things I deal with in my opinion. It’s like you are alive but not living, like nothing is real, emotions are shut off, nothing at all makes any sense.

Dissociation is watching everyone else carry on with life whilst you feel like you aren’t even there, it’s like being dead but still being alive. It’s the lack of care for emotions in the moment. Having no clue how you are alive. It’s scary but sometimes relieving at the same time to be dissociated, it’s shut down from all feelings and emotions but it’s also not reality, which is distressing.

Coming back around from being dissociated is probably the worst part, there are way too many emotions to cope with from not having to cope with them for either a couple of hours or days. It’s also being told stories about what you have done whilst dissociated that literally you can’t even remember happening.

Dissociation can happen after having a triggering experience, it can be a coping mechanism. Shutting down from feeling and emotions, sometimes it’s easier for people to not feel at all for a while.

Dissociation is distressing, it is being alive but not living it is absolute hell. It is emotionless and emotional all at the same time.

Hannah x 

Relapse Prevention

I had my last therapy session the other day, we spoke about creating a tool kit which I can use when I feel I might relapse. I know I have a blog post about Self Care which will definitely relate to this post a bit but I wanted to make this post as fresh post with more information I have learnt. Also because whilst going through this technique all I could think was I can’t wait to write a blog post about this.

I tend not to write down my triggers mainly because I have so many and I am still learning to work on accepting that sometimes they don’t need to trigger me but I guess that’s just one the joys of BPD.

Anyway about this tool kit, I literally stated all the things that are available to me when I feel I might relapse and its made me realise how small some of the things are that help me to keep feeling stable and I just wanted to share the technique with all of you lovely lot.

• Lighting my favourite candle
• Having a bath
• Going on Twitter
• Talking to friends 
• Cuddling my dog
• Walking my dog
• Going to the gym 
• Having a nap

These are the more easier things I find help when I am struggling. However, I know I also have other strategies when struggling more;

• See my GP
• Ring 116 123 (Samaritans)
• Ring the crisis team
• Ring 111
• Go to A&E

Sometimes it can all be too much but each and everyone of us are here, we are all precious and deserve to be alive. Sometimes people just need time to themselves it’s nothing personal self care is important and not selfish. 

Hannah x